When I was hurting and depressed I dreamed of healing and feeling better. I told myself that I was doing everything I could to heal myself. But that was a lie.
I wasn’t ready to heal.
The truth was, I hadn’t been doing everything I could because deep down I didn’t believe that I was worthy. Instead, I believed that nothing would work for me so what was the point of trying?
It was true, I was researching, reading, learning and gathering information on how to change and heal. Anything and everything I could get my hands on. I collected modalities, workflows, worksheets, books, certifications, and information but I didn’t implement hardly anything. The clients I worked with who did implement what I taught them experienced change and healing. I didn’t feel worthy of implementing. So I didn’t.
I kept digging for answers – why am I not feeling better? Why do I feel broken? I know so much, so what’s wrong with me? Why am I the only person who can’t create sustainable change?
I was ashamed that I was able to help others heal but not help myself.
I was always willing to be brutally honest about my answers, no matter what they were. But part of the problem was that my belief in my unworthiness and part of it was that I wasn’t asking quite the right questions.
When I realized that it was my belief in my unworthiness that caused me not to implement anything but only gather information, I immediately knew why I wasn’t experiencing the changes I wanted.
Powerful question (the right tool).
Brutal honesty (the right mindset).
Courage to look inside myself and find the truth once and for all (the right timing).
I felt the emotional freedom of the breakthrough even though nothing in my life was was instantly fixed. BUT it felt that everything had already changed for me. I knew that now all I needed to do was show up and be present for myself and take one step after another.
I didn’t know all the steps. And I didn’t fully know the me that I was stepping into now that my pain was gone. But I felt so free and the possibilities were exciting. I was going to cross the bridge into the new.
I decided that even though I still didn’t feel worthy 100%, I would do the work just to see what happens. I wanted to love myself more, not less, so I would love myself enough to do the work.
When I knew the truth of what was keeping me stuck, I knew I was ready to heal. I knew I couldn’t go another day feeling the depth of pain and shame that I had lived with. The honesty I brought to every question broke open the walls I had put up and I immediately felt an emotional freedom I hadn’t felt ever. Not ever! It was a cell deep whole being experience that I remember to this day. It was like a rebirth. Like being finally rinsed clean of mud that I had been drowning in for what seemed like my whole life. It felt delicious.
I leaned on my support tribe as I moved forward with the healing work. I knew i wasn’t alone as I took each step. I was loved, supported, and encouraged.
It takes amazing courage to heal your past and you don’t have to do it alone.
How do you know you’re ready?
- You can’t go another day feeling the pain, shame, sadness, anger and other negative emotions that are tied to this trauma/challenge/stress in your life.
- You’re ready to ask better, powerful questions and be absolutely, brutally honest with yourself no matter what the answers are.
- You know that it’s possible to feel differently even though you don’t know how to get there yet.
- You’re ready to do the work and implement what needs to be done to create your life deliberately.
- You know you don’t have to do it alone and you’re ready to get the support you need.
I get to help my clients unearth the truth that breaks down the walls of their pain. I am intuitively guided to ask the powerful questions that lead them to the truth in a safe and non-judgmental space. And I get to help them deliberately create the possibilities that open up once they are emotionally free from their pain. And then I get to paint their truth in a Soul Tattoo™.
Do you have a scar that you want to heal from your past? Jump on a free 20 minute call with me to see if working with me is right for you.