It’s funny how I think only a couple weeks have gone by since my last blog post and it’s actually been over a month! This misperception of time actually beautifully illustrates what I’m writing about today.
I’ve learned another life lesson that’s been trying to teach me for the longest time! But we’re not ready till we’re ready. Sometimes, often actually, I get whacked by the Universe’s frying pan across the head and then I get it.
There are different aspects to balance and I have come to know two of them.
1. Universal Balance: There is a spiritual balance in the universe that is perfect and that we humans simply do not have access to. We can feel it and see evidence of it and yet can’t fully understand. I often find myself here!
When someone does something good for you, you want to repay them. But how do you know what’s an equal repayment? You may agree on an exchange but this isn’t always the case. Or what if you can’t repay them? What I have come to know is that you don’t have to repay them. You can do something good for someone else and the universe will take care of the balance of repayment for everyone.
The key is being receptive to receiving the good just as much as giving it. I now take every opportunity to give and this rarely means that I give money. I offer help, high vibrating thoughts and intentions, compliments, hugs, love, conscious conversation, etc. The Universe shows me what’s needed in the moment and I do my best to show up and give.
I also take every opportunity to receive all the blessings that come my way. I look for things to be grateful for in my life. I try to be greateful every moment but that doesn’t always work.
2. Life Balance. In our life balance doesn’t mean we give equal time to everything we need to or want to do. Sometimes it’s essential to devote more time to one part of life and simply trust that the others will be taken care of.
Instead of freaking out that I don’t have enough time in my day to do all the things I need to do, never mind about all the things I want to do, I am using a different approach. This different and more balanced approach feels better in my heart and Soul but not always in my head.
My life feels more balanced and stuff’s happening like I never expected.
What are the biggest adjustments I’ve made?
I’ve reprioritized again. My children are home educated and this is my main priority. I love being a mom so much now and I am relishing these feelings. It took me years to heal from my post partum depression and not want to leave this life behind. I never believed I could love motherhood and yet here I am! My courgage and willingness to do the work inside myself has brought me here and this aspect of my life is now my biggest priority.
My own work, although still very important and life changing, is in second and sometimes even third priority position. Accepting this shift in priorities has brought up it’s own emotions and shit. The truth is, I have felt grief and sadness and the fear of missing out. I have also felt resentment and fear that the world is missing out. It’s hard to even share this but I know I’m not the only who struggles with the work/life balance. I’m still in the stew of many of these emotions and I’m loving myself through it all.
The biggest change I’ve implemented is being more present in each day. What wants to happen today? What will make me, my children, my family feel the happiest today? What experiences do we want to have? From this space the essentials of the day emerge and I can take care of them. This space also allows me to be present for the inspired action that is always knocking on my heart.
So, I am pursuing my work in a much more spherical way instead of a linear way. It’s a bit nerve wrecking for me because I’m such a doer and I like linear change. That’s not what life has in store for me right now and it’s a whirlwind sometimes! In order for me to progress in the way that I know I want to, I like to have a strategy that I follow. But all the strategies that I’ve implemented have created more stress than good and have overwhelmed me to such a degree that my body was beginning to show signs of illness again.
Like I said, the good old Universe’s Frying Pan strikes again!
Stopping and reconsidering how I was approaching life and work and stopping doing what wasn’t working anymore changed everything.
Since living this new approach my biggest goal for this year has began to materialize with love and little effort. My book! I have been painting the images that are going into it and the words are coming through. So what felt like a major stall in my work because of reprioritizing has actually become a fast track for what’s most important to me.
Imagine that! The balance is restored in a new and exciting way.
I finally get it.
Balance does not mean equality of time spent.
Balance does not mean you always give and receive equally in each moment.
It means you allow each moment to be what it is, you feel whatever comes up, you catch the old stories that try to convince you about some old bs you used to believe, and then you find the gratitude in it all.
There is more to it and that’s what I’m going to be exploring in my book.
So I’m still painting and my work is still changing the world. I trust more and I love more and I am allowing the Universe to take care of the balance. Such a relief!