This question can be an eye opener and a catalyst or really scary! It’s one of those questions that used to freak me out because I usually asked it when I felt really, really stuck. And the quality of the questions you ask dictate the quality of the answers you receive. For me, this was not the best question to ask myself when I was stuck in fear and self sabotage.
I didn’t know that the reason I was stuck in fear back then was because of my own impatience. You see, I would work on something and give it my all for a while but when I didn’t see things working fast enough I would quit on them.
(That was before I understood the principle of the Universe working on my behalf behind the scenes, outside my radar screen without me being able to see. In the past I’ve found it hard to keep going with stuff when I can’t see much evidence of it working. I’m willing to bet I’m not the only one haha! I bet you’ve had moments like this, too.)
The beauty of this Universe is that the things that are meant to continue always find a way, sometimes even years later and no matter how stuck I sometimes feel.
I published a book some years ago about my struggle with post partum depression and my journey of healing. It took me years to recover. Years. Like 10! Yes, a whole decade of my children’s lives. The shame and guilt of that is a whole other post another time…
When I published that book I was passionately pursuing coaching moms to love themselves more but I felt like I wasn’t gaining traction. Even though I had a business coach and did a lot of speaking, writing and trying really hard I wasn’t getting anywhere. I know now that it’s because I still wasn’t fully loving myself and I didn’t believe that I was worthy of not only success but also a bigger picture.
It took another few years to realize that I don’t need to do anything to be loved. That I am enough. That I am worthy of my own life. That there is a flow in the Universe that I also have access too in each moment. That the secret really is in loving myself more (not less) and not the outside circumstances – they do not dictate how I feel.
The book I published and the work I did have been patiently waiting for me to be ready to take it up again…in a different capacity. I had put them both on the shelf and followed inspiration to different things. But over the last six months I’ve felt the pull to bring in some of the work I used to do, I just didn’t know how. After all, I was under the impression that it hadn’t worked in the past. But the Universe has other plans and now I know how to hear them and work with them.
So what’s next? Haha! Good question. My book has received attention again and I understand that it’s changing lives very profoundly. I have been called to redesign it and fill it with my healing Soul Story Artwork and republish it in a new edition.
So what’s next? Me listening to my intuition and continuing with my work. Me creating space for this book to come to life again and for the new edition to come through me just like the first one did and just like my art does.
The Universe knows what’s next and I am guided by it. I know that now. I feel it in my heart. I have had plenty of evidence of that in my life now and in my past. I just didn’t know what I was looking for before. Hind sight, as they say, is always 20/20.
I am creating space for this book to come alive. I am also creating space for my healing energy work to come alive again. And, of course, I am continuing to hold space for my intuitive painting Soul Story Artwork.