I’m sad and shocked, and inspired about Dr Wayne Dyer’s passing. He just chose to go and that’s that. The perfect ending to an inspiring and rich life. He was my first spiritual guide and his book, The Power of Intention, helped me to save my own life. It was handed to me in a very dark time in my life and even though I didn’t understand what he was talking about in it, I felt something in me want more of that nonsense. His wisdom helped me find my own truth and realize that my old beliefs were, in fact, the nonsense.
His death invited me to ask myself a profound question, if I knew the precise moment that I would die, how would I choose to live the rest of my life?
My answer brought me to the proverbial fork in the road. It made me get really honest and realize that I had a lot of choice.
The default answer that I wanted to give made me sad and ashamed. I had second thoughts about even sharing this with anyone. This answer reflected the predominant mindset I had carried throughout most of my life and had been dissolving as I became aware of it’s tentacles…the mindset through which I created a lot of joyless pain for myself. I’ve been afraid to even speak the words out loud in the world. I’ve been afraid of judgement and backlash from others over it.
The answer was that I would feel relief because it would mean I could just leave. I could leave because what’s the point of all this, anyway?
Trust me, I can’t believe I thought that! I almost talked myself out of posting this blog several times. How dare I believe that leaving the body is better than staying in it? I’ve flogged myself enough over this. But I just couldn’t feel how life is this precious gift when it’s so hard! And painful! And sucky! And I’m the one causing it to be like that, which is the suckiest of all!
So here I was at this fork in the road. I had been invited to choose to let go of the rest of these beliefs and choose something else.
I had the thought that since the Divine created everything in this universe, the physical and the non-physical, that means that the physical is just as crucial and important as the non-physical. I had been operating under the (definitely false) assumption that the non-physical grass way waaaay greener and better than the physical grass I was living with. My upbringing as an Eastern European Catholic may have had something to do with that belief system. Anyway, who’s to stay that dying and leaving this life is better than staying and living it?
What if I lived with the assumptions that this life is amazing and fun and joyful and easy. It’s like I got hit with the Universal frying pan again. Wayne Dyer knew this and I didn’t get it until he passed away and throught that act my eyes and heart finally opened.
I choose life. I choose joyfulness and fun.
I have no idea how to have fun! Haha! I don’t really consciously know how to experience the fullness of joy but I know I want to! I am certain I even already have but I just never noticed it before because I was looking at pain instead!
So I decided to create a series of art that expresses the energy of joy and life…all the things in my life that I love: the sacred words, the people, the experiences, the tiny and the big.
I began with tuning into and painting the energy of expressing more joy. In my sadness over the passing of this amazing man I felt joy and this is the image I received. It’s not finished yet but here are the progress pics so far.
I invite you to collaborate with me on this project. Send me your words of wisdom, the beliefs you live by that make your life joyful, the tiny and big things that make you have fun and love your life. I want to know more about how to experience joy in life and how to have more fun. And I want your help! Click here to send me your best recipe for fun and joy!
September 14, 2015 update:
I finally finished this painting! My family and I were so sick that I couldn’t even get out of bed. But now I’m back in the studio and here is first painting in this series: Express More Joy.