After my tough day I decided to do a Card reading to give me more clarity on where I was at. What came up was confusing and I didn’t quite understand it until today during a conversation with a friend. The reading was about a sudden loss and how I was going to deal with it and who would I be through it, etc. I knew it was talking about the financial loss that we had experienced that had caused a lot of emotions to fly around. I understood the lesson in that loss for myself and knew that my husband also needed to learn things. I definitely felt the negative emotions but I’m still not practiced in feeling the positive emotions (for reasons I will tackle in another post sometime).
The questions I had come up for me created more confusion and I felt frustrated at my inability to get more from the cards. Why did the cards tell me that it was up to me to determine the outcome of this loss? I also felt the old fear come up of what if I don’t learn enough from this and repeat it again sometime? This fear is like a burr on my clothing! It just sticks and sticks!
Anyway, today I was having a conversation with a girlfriend. We hadn’t seen each other in over a year and so we were catching up on life. We both had come to the same realization recently to just live life where we are at instead of always putting it on hold for that day/time when we “insert accomplishment here.” She had recently lost a friend to a freak train accident and had been deeply impacted by the experience. I had experienced a second hand loss through a friend who tragically lost a family member recently. The death of this young person was horrible and unfortunate however, it has been the fallout of the family’s grief that is causing more pain now for the remaining member of the family. The parents grieving for their deceased child have all but forgotten about the one who is still alive.
When I said this my friend looked at me and we both got shivers…this is what my reading had been trying to tell me. The loss is unfortunate and must be acknowledged and grieved. But not at the expense of what is still remaining that we can rejoice in. My husband and I were so upset and worried about losing some money that it was all consuming my mental and emotional energy. I didn’t turn around to look and be grateful for all the wonderful things still around me.
I realized there is nothing for me to do in order to rebuild this. I know I have learned what I needed to learn. I can feel the gratitude flowing from me now and I’m really happy. Like I often say to my kids “Patience, my young Padawan.” Wish I remembered to be patient with myself more!