I’ve been practicing honesty with myself for many years now and sometimes I am still caught by surprise when I realize I’ve lied to myself. The good news is I no longer berate myself like I used to for making mistakes. Today I realized that I actually love unschooling my kids and that I’m ok with it. I’ve been struggling with my kids education ever since they stopped going to school a year and a half ago. I knew in my heart that I could no longer sacrifice them to the school system but I didn’t know what the next steps were.
I don’t even know what unschooling truly looks like. I have been reading a great book on it and some of the stuff in there pushes my buttons but it’s a great perspective. What I know for sure is that by being honest about this with myself the next step will show up. Admitting this is bringing up fears of all kinds but I know this is just my ego fighting.
I’ve noticed that being honest with myself is always an emotional roller coaster. It creates turmoil and brings up negative emotions all tied up with fear. I sit with them, notice them, and do my best not to just react because of them. Today is no different. I am going to just be kind to myself and everyone around me until this internal storm rains itself out and the light shines again.